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Hilarious "part" airline complaint


19 Jul 2007
Lincoln UK
Whilst searching for a template complaint letter to send to BMIbaby after their shocking abandonment of myself, wife and children in Portugal when they got her name wrong on their manifest leaving us stranded and refusing to give us another flight when I rang them up, I came across this "part" letter on the web. I say part because it is the first section but is quite old and the link to open the rest is long gone and doesnt work. Even so it is absolutely hilarious as it is. Enjoy:

Dear Continental airlines
I am disgusted as I write this not to you about the miserable experience I am having sitting in seat 29E on one of your aircrafts.

As you may know this seat is situated directly across from the lavatory, so close that I can reach out my left arm and touch the door.

All my senses are being tortured simultaneously.

It is difficult to say what the worst thing about sitting in 29E really is? Is it the stench of the sanitation fluid that is blown all over my body every 60 seconds when the door opens? Is it the woosh of the constant flushing, or is it the passengers asses that seem to fit into my personal space like a pornographic jigsaw puzzle.

I constructed a stink shield by shoving one end of a blanket into the overhead compartment. While effective in blocking at least some of the smell, and offering a small bit of privacy, the ass on my body factor has increased as without my evil glare, passengers feel free to lean up against what they think is some kind of blanketed wall. The next as that touches my shoulder will be the last!!

I am picturing a board room full of executives giving props to the young promising engineer that figured out how to squeeze an additional row of seats onto this plane by putting them next to the lavatory.

I would like to flush his head in the toilet that I am close enough to touch and taste from my seat.

Lol. we werent next to the Lavs on any flight but I would love to flush the idiots at BMIs heads one by one!!!!