How to call the Police

Discussion in 'Off Topic / Chit-Chat' started by SuperColey1, 15 Aug 2008.

  1. SuperColey1

    SuperColey1 Member

    Messages:
    2,668
    Location:
    Lincoln UK
    HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

    George Phillips of Marsh Green, Wigan was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

    George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
    He phoned the police, who asked 'Is someone in your house?' and he said 'no'. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, 'Okay,' hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

    'Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them.' Then he hung up.

    Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

    One of the Policemen said to George: 'I thought you said that you'd shot them!'
    George said, 'I thought you said there was nobody available!'

    I LOVE IT - Don't mess with old people!!
     
  2. a1Matt

    a1Matt Member

    Messages:
    2,521
    Location:
    Bromley
    absolutely brilliant. :lol:
     
  3. Mark Evans

    Mark Evans Expert

    Messages:
    6,492
    Location:
    newark notts.
    great, and very true. :lol:
     
  4. nickyc

    nickyc Member

    Messages:
    208
    Location:
    Nottingham
    Brilliant! Properly laughing out loud! :lol:
     
  5. jay

    jay Member

    Messages:
    693
    Location:
    Harrow, Middlesex
    Thats awesome, where you get it from?
     
  6. LondonDragon

    LondonDragon Administrator Staff Member

    Messages:
    10,272
    Location:
    London
    Not new but great non the less ;)
     
  7. TDI-line

    TDI-line Member

    Messages:
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    Yaxley, Peterborough
    Classic punch line, brilliant.
     
  8. Themuleous

    Themuleous Member

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    4,126
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    Aston, Oxfordshire
  9. SuperColey1

    SuperColey1 Member

    Messages:
    2,668
    Location:
    Lincoln UK
    I got it from our new local forum for Lincoln people which we set up because another site which was seperated into different local forums decided they wanted to nationalise it because all the other regions had few posters whereas the Lincoln section was very busy. Therefore we left. lol

    http://lincolnmaniacs.niceboard.net/

    I wouldn't register on it because it is supposed to be local to Lincoln but there are a fair few good jokes and stories appear on there
     
  10. aaronnorth

    aaronnorth Member

    Messages:
    3,955
    Location:
    worksop, nottinghamshire
    My relative did that, people were putting her window through so she phoned the police - nobody available so she said they were inside smahing it up - they soon come out then :rolleyes:
     
  11. a1Matt

    a1Matt Member

    Messages:
    2,521
    Location:
    Bromley
    I had to call the police out when someone broke into my house last year. I wasn't expecting much of a response. I've got to say though I was really impressed... had 2 officers, sniffer dog and handlers, and forensics all at my house out within 30 min. Not bad for 3am :wideyed:

    They caught the bloke a week later driving round in a stolen car!
     

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