Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

Ed Seeley

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This was posted on another forum I look in on and it made me laugh so I thought I'd post here for you guys to enjoy reading. You gotta love this students reasoning!

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman Year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
So Hell has already frozen over so I'm able to relax. Except for the fact that I wonder what would happen if logic such as this was applied to Heaven too.... :lol:
 

Lisa_Perry75

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TDI-line said:
Seen before, but very clever.
Me too! But still good.

One of our lecturers every year quotes an answer given by a student who was obviously running out of time in his exam, to the question, "describe cloning" or something similar. The students answer was:-
God is great because he made restriction enzymes, but what a b******d he created introns.

The student got around first class marks for this answer.

Hope someone finds that funny lol.

Edit - changed swearword so people can guess what it is...
 

Ed Seeley

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Lisa_Perry75 said:
One of our lecturers every year quotes an answer given by a student who was obviously running out of time in his exam, to the question, "describe cloning" or something similar. The students answer was:-
God is great because he made restriction enzymes, but what a xxxx he created introns.

The student got around first class marks for this answer.

Hope someone finds that funny lol.
As someone with a degree in Genetics I do!
 

Martin

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28 Dec 2007
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North Wales
Ed Seeley said:
Lisa_Perry75 said:
One of our lecturers every year quotes an answer given by a student who was obviously running out of time in his exam, to the question, "describe cloning" or something similar. The students answer was:-
God is great because he made restriction enzymes, but what a xxxx he created introns.

The student got around first class marks for this answer.

Hope someone finds that funny lol.
As someone with a degree in Genetics I do!
As someone with a degree in Fine Art I don't! :lol:
 
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