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ITS FRIDAY: Joke of the Day

sr20det

Member
Joined
2 Oct 2009
Messages
696
Location
East London
A lttle boy asks his dad "where does poo come from dad?"

His day explains "well son, food passes down the Osophagus by peristalsis. It enters into the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal. This extracts the protein before waste product enter the colon. Water is absorbed, whereupon it then enters the rectum finally to emerge as poo".

"Blimey" says the little lad. "so where does Tigger come from then?".





Post some jokes fellow fridaymen
 

thingymajig

Seedling
Joined
27 Mar 2009
Messages
73
Location
Manchester Trafford
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."





:lol:
He replies "BREASTS."
 

adamhawk

Member
Joined
23 Jun 2012
Messages
108
I do like them, I would join in, but friday is finished.
 

adamhawk

Member
Joined
23 Jun 2012
Messages
108
Oh, I'll go for it then :D

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, "There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or “That’s Michael, he's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher. She's dead."
 

sr20det

Member
Thread starter
Joined
2 Oct 2009
Messages
696
Location
East London
Warning...!!!

I'm not usually one for posting warnings about potential scams but I had a near miss yesterday.

I walked into B&Q and some old guy dressed in orange asked me if I wanted decking. Fortunately I got the first punch in and that was the end of that.

Those less suspecting might not be so lucky..
 

sr20det

Member
Thread starter
Joined
2 Oct 2009
Messages
696
Location
East London
A Little lad...
...turns up at school with his pet cat peeping out of his bag, His teacher is very puzzled and asks him "Tommy, why have you brought your cat to school today?" Tommy replies "Well miss, I heard the post man telling mummy that when the kids go to school I'm gonna eat your pussy, So I was'nt taking any chances"
 

OllieNZ

Member
Joined
11 Nov 2009
Messages
990
Location
Witney, UK
What did the triangle say to the circle?


You're pointless.
 

sr20det

Member
Thread starter
Joined
2 Oct 2009
Messages
696
Location
East London
A young lad



just left school gets a job in the chemist.

On his first day a woman asks him for a pack of tampax.

He goes red faced with embarrassment and runs away into the back of the shop.

The pharmacist tells him it's nothing to be embarrassed about, and say,s that he should be more confident and try to have a conversation with the customers.Talk about the weather or something.

This happens to the lad every month when the woman comes in the shop,for tampax so he asks the pharmacist to serve her.

Three months later, with a great deal more confidence, the woman enters the shop, I'LL SERVE HER he booms,what can I get for you this fine day madam !!!.

Just a pack of cotton wool and some paper towels please she replies.......

Feeling a bit cocky now he says.............

OH !! ROLLING OUR OWN NOW ARE WE !! ..
:lol: :lol: :lol:
 

Stickleback

Member
Joined
12 Nov 2009
Messages
186
Location
Vietnam
A couple more


I'm using guinea pigs as guinea pigs to see if I like guinea pigs.


Last night my girlfriend said to me, "Did you know, butterflies only live for two days?"

I said, "Honey, I think that's a myth."

"No," she replied, "it's definitely a butterfly."


Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.


My Fav...

Why did the Belgian keeping mixing up his indefinite articles? Because he was an twerp (Antwerp)
 
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