Glad you managed to sort out your phobias

I'll send you my bill!
Really though, a couple of scenarios that may make you feel at ease. I went through a similar situation as your self. Test kits shown that my tap water had no nitrates but extremely high levels of po4, well over 3mgl the highest reading on the test kit. Due to me using the manufacturers data sheet my tank held 165ltrs of water so off I went dosing kno3 at E.I and no po4. I also didn't do 50% weekly water changes partly to laziness and partly to my work schedule. Recently I set the same tank up again and had the opportunity to see exactly how much water it took to fill it with give or take the same amount of hardscape and plants in. Turns out that my tank holds roughly 130ltrs so I have over dosed kno3 for about 2 year, not changed enough water and suffered no problems with my fish. I would imagine a fair bit would have accumulated in the tank over that period.
My po4 situation on the other hand. Since setting up my new tank I change over 50% of the water religiously every week, being 3x5 gallon home brew bins worth. Now with my po4 above 3mgl out the tap logic would tell you that if there was none in the tank to start with after a water change I should have at least 1.5mgl in the tank but the test kits shows no where near those levels, not even 1mgl.

So, I start adding po4.
So now my philosophy has changed from worrying about having to much po4 in my tank. The worry is is there enough and while I add it in my dosing which is one less thing to worry about if I do have any problems the fact that there also MAY be high levels in my tap water virtually guarantees I'm ok po4 wise. You could think the same way with your nitrates and see it more as a security blanket.
There are two ends of the spectrum when it comes to ferts and plant health, either enough or not enough and all the problems appear at the not enough end. If you think you have everything else in order co2 and circulation wise have a little experiment to see if you can reduce the kno3 gradually over a long period but I wouldn't get to hung up on the results of test kits. The only one's you can start graduating in mgl portions costs hundreds even thousands of pounds. Everything in a planted tank isn't exact science, test kits give false results depending on loads of things like age, temp of water, chemicals you're not testing for and even how the user perceives the colour. The drop checker results are delayed by a couple of hours and depends on it's position in the tank as well as the fluid it's in. Everything is best guess for the hobbyist.
I believe that something in my tapwater gives a false po4 reading which seems to diminish rapidly in the tank or maybe now I've got my other things in order my plants really are sucking up po4, who knows? I'm not science enough to explain it but adding it makes me sure it's not a problem.